Hey Kids

Well as cant train (can’t walk) properly, but must obey and atempt to still the A type within, am atempting the guiness book of records atempt at surviving on vodka and m&ms alone (I know even the peatnut kind which viloates all veganess (milk choc) but this is an emergency).  Now, its a good time to do the challenge bc 1) m&ms are kinda involved in the new Shrek movie so have ogre (Jess) sized all the M&Ms have gone through 7 COSTCO “small nation sized” bags  (the brown, yellow, beige, purple bags - if u are gonna do it might as well do it right).  After, a “chairbound” weekend and being all ok with it “grateful being alive, could be worse, happens for a reason etc  blah, blah weekend” by sunday afternoon was about to kill somebody (anyone/anything provided with in reach off course) I ventured to grocery store shop-it took 4 hours-its a 16 mile drive-rest was simply dumbass leg issues.  I did have a discussion about my Vodka purchase though with another vodka fan. Fabulous.

Now today I got told that as triathlete’s when we are out of action we are not like other sport people and don’t have the luxury of the same lucrative/safe contracts, but, in fact we are more like race horses.  Basically, the stable/trainer spends x months on us, and then we go lame and its “game over” and we are fragile little creaures-doesnt take much to mess up our race calendar, I was tempted to ask if he wanted to have me try trot up and down and subsequently shoot me?. 

Also, not being able to train/race if a triathlete u can not claim its a los of income- no its a loss of profit like a “gambler” it was pointed out to me today as we as triathletes “wilfully” take on this risk- i.e risk/sacrifice everything in racing pro and that somehow makes it all our fault when some one drives on the wrong side of the road at us and hits us-hmm wasnt over joyed by that one-and apparently being hit by on coming traffic is jus takin to injuring yourself from your own”error” like biking into a tree and hence if sidelined and can no longer train/race its our own fault its a wilfull risk taken (all eggs in one basket syndrome) and hence it’s not fair to expect this “type of selected lifestyle to be reimbursed if damaged by other road users negligence.” NICE

Just thought give anyone else a heads ups-also make sure u are insured and make sure your car insurance has something called med bills, in the event u have a hit n run experience.

I was also told today that we”triathlete types are so finicky/fragile, if we were footballers we’d just have stuff strapped up and be back in the field” I sugessted strapping up knee and doing tri training however- was told to stop if knee does the buckling thing (thats just so not cool-its been really showing me up on that-we’ve had words and I’ve threatened it with a baseball bat if does’nt grow out of this bucklimg retardation phase- warned it zero tolerance was being inforced on 1) buckling and 2) wadldling.

Anyways, was told if were a tenis player, a volley ball player or football player I’d be fine but bc I’m a tri geek the smallest thing screws up my game- tried to point out as can’t walk- any sport is kinda stuffed up right now. I don’t know was kinda mad that these sweeping assumptions were made on the 1 hand we tri geeks are fragile finicky little people on the other hand if the knee buckles dont do stuff as u will fall on your face when it gives way and rip apart your ACL.

Anyways, thought would give u kids a heads up =0)

You need to document everything, have multiple and adequate inurance, show fitness/ability be prepared to be laughed at be prepare to try to explain your lifestyle/training to people that are incable of grasping 1) what you do 2) why you do it 3) why and what you have sacrificed to do it and above all 4) what never being able to race again pain free at the same ability means and 5) that sitting on your ass for 3 months unable to train doesnt meant that on day 1 they declare u can race that u would be race ready i.e u have to be able to train for a race. I am not sure if there is some kind of insurance out there- if there is get it- don’t even whine about it.

Seriously.

 As u can imagine after having been told that my efforts/sacrifices to lead a pauper lifestyle despite way to many degrees renders me and anyone else doing the same thing as “useless idiots” as the only meassure of worth - of what u do is purely economical/financial.

I felt belittled and drove home frustrated that I had been unable to represent us trigeeks- and say to hell with the system to hell with what u know- this is how it is and I’m not alone, and felt guilty as did begin to think maybe I was a financially unstable (if cant race) idiot.  Then I heard this song that made me happy- happy that there is someone else on earth that GET’S IT.  I heard the song RODEO (Garth Brooks I think) basically it was about how rodeo steals everything u got and u r left with broken bones, penniless and with strained/sacrificed personal relationships - and I was like ” man this is totally applicable to triathlon” in my sad state this was immensely exciting.

I never set out to race Triathlon as a pro I never set out to really do any form of triathlon as I knew I could not swim for sh1t. But I fell into it, and when I was “messed around” with my PhD funding and left to live in a Ford Transit van with no locks (got robbed week 4) with a broken collar bone (week 1) cleat broke on a uphill, for 5 months, with a Law department that seemed unable to realise that GTA-ships are to make a postgrads life easier not worse. In a country with low “currency” in a teaching post with BAD pay and a limited VISA(i.e couldnt work more hours or switch for better paying job)- was forced to race Pro Ironman if wanted to eat- and not be mortified by food vouchers from the University.  (”have to make my own way or die trying” was still the motto at that time).

Racing Ironnman as a Pro seemed like such a selfish pursuit and not at all aligned with what I wanted to do-(work for and international NGO with standing to lobby the United Nations for change in specific human and environmental rights orientated fields). I so struggled over racing pro and had such a moral/ethical dilemma over it despite trying to combine the two through fundraising, I found I was not big enough fry to further dramatic change or fundraising results rather it was simply my constant nagging of close friends and family adnorsium.  

Seems so “strange now that I am being told I may not be able to pull together a competitive pro season ever again” (don’t worry am not buying into any of that crap - still hell bent on proving we tri geeks are just as tough as the footballers/tennis players or whatever).

Just kinda funny the easy come easy go thing- they say (over n over again to the point that the next person that says it might have the baseball bat tap presently reserved for my retarded left knee-yes thats pre vodka as well) that “everything happens for a reason”  this has just enticed me to compile a list which includes serial killers, AIDS, traffic accidents, rapists and American Idol-why do these things exist for what possible reason? hmm.

Most people as you can imagine are stumped by ” American Idol”

Anyways I must go there is only one packet between me and the clydesdale division which is pretty impressive as I’m 5ft6 =0)

And I made a break through today I”walked”- well kinda walked 1 mile had to have stops etc it took me 1 hour (yes I timed it and it will be in my training log and next time I will wear my timex body link to confirm it was a mile and the avarege pace and heart rate I susepect its 1 mile and hour and Hr below 100 however I was pretty darn exhausted so maybe I maxed out at like 101 or something its pretty exciting as have no preconcieved idea of what can and cant do. 

Certainly teaches humilty and respect for people who over come proper injuries

All da best keep training keep believing notwithstanding all around you atempting to discourage you and belittle your goals and ambitions whether its to finish anh ironman or to win and ironman for that matter wether its to complete or PB at a 5K

Stick with da program

=0) and just laugh insanely if people are trying to belittle you or put you off I’ve found that way faster and more effective than doing the whole trying to explain thing.

goodnight - enjoy

jess

enjoy all that you have all that u are capable of despite your self doubts have fun - and know we are all on borrowed time - so might as well make it count