This week’s interviewee has been pretty busy grabbing the bull by the horns lately, so I was wickedly happy when he took the time for an interview. The horn grabber is Will Kelsay, Xterra pro extraordinaire, who may be best known for his multicolored mohowak. Last summer Will drove across the country in an RV and raced an Xterra every weekend in June, July and August. His great adventure stretched from New York to California…dang.

LT:  Racing an Xterra in a speedo, good idea or bad?

WK: Good idea if you wanna draw attention and make a fool out of yourself. Not a good idea if you aren’t confident about not crashing on the bike. And I’m proof that you should probably tan once or twice before doing it. Nobody likes looking at a pasty white skinny kid in a speedo.

LT:  On a scale from 1-10, how hard is it to get a woman to join you in your RV?

WK: 1 being easy and 10 being hard - about 8. If I “forget” to leave that fact out when I’m picking up girls,  I’m usually golden. As impressive as it is to say that “I own my own home,” usually they aren’t very impressed when I explain the details.

LT:  As a fourth grader, what did you want to be when you grew up?

WK: Captain Underpants

LT: While on the Xterra adventure, did you ever pick, hunt, catch or behead your own food?

WK: I hit a bunch of deer on my bike, wrestled them to the ground, but they got away before I could make the kill. I totally picked and ate a bunch of berries, but after having to run to the can multiple times, I regret that decision. I did go fishing in Crested Butte and caught my limit in 20 minutes. The trout were fantastic!

LT: I hear you are growing a mustache, do you plan to dye it to match your mohawk? and what sort of mustache do you aspire to grow? personally, I like the ones that curl up at the ends, typically sported by the villain in most western movies.

WK: I wish I could grow a foo-man-chu, but my girlie excuse for facial hair doesn’t even come close. After one month of growing what looked like a dirty upper lip, I decided to dye it purple. Big mistake. I ended up dying my lip purple and had to shave it off to get rid of it.

LT:  Have you ever run over a prairie dog while riding your bike?

WK: Prairie dog - no. But I have run over several squirrels, turtles, and mice. Oh and there was that moos-a-potamus rex (1/2 moose, 1/2 hippopotamus, 1/2 tyrannosaurus rex)

LT:  If someone offered you “X” amount of money to name your first child Phalanges Phlegm, what would “X” have to be?

WK: uuummm… I’m thinking about 50 bucks

LT: Anything else you would like to add?

WK: yeah, could I get a side of fries, animal style.

There once was a time…like, after dinosaurs and before MC Hammer, when professionals would race every distance. Two to tens hours, they raced it all. Then the tide turned (may or may not have been dinosaur related) and people started to specialize in a specific distance. Apparently this week’s interviewee didn’t get the memo. Anything you hand to her, she can race, because she is that good. This week’s interviewee is Joanna Zeiger.

 LT: Have you/will you ever use the line, “yeah, well I am an Olympian.”

JZ: I am too embarrassed to play that card. I would feel like an idiot trying to pull that off. 

LT:  I noticed your hair is the longest I have ever seen it, how long are you planning on growing it?

JZ: I am going for the Chia pet look, which I think I have successfully achieved (for those of you who have not seen me lately, my hair is very, very thick and curly). Since the humidity in is so low, generally things are under control. But send me to a humid environment and I start sporting the “dead poodle” look. Not sure how much longer it will get. Once it reaches a certain point is grows out instead of down.

LT: I have also noticed there is a very fast group of female triathletes originally from Maryland…why do you suppose that is?

JZ: We just got smart and realized that Boulder is a better place to train than Maryland. That is why we get the Aussie invasion over the summer.

LT: When was the last time you went skinny dipping? Feel free to elaborate.

 JZ: It has been quite some time since I have gone skinny dipping, there are not a lot of opportunities for that here in Boulder. The first year I went to St. Croix I went skinny dipping after the race was over. It was under the cover of darkness.

LT:  Craziest place you have ever eaten a fluffernutter (is that what they are called?!) sandwich?

JZ:  I try to stay away from the fluffernutter sandwiches; when my coach found out about this habit he nearly had a coronary! Also, here in Colorado we can’t get the real Fluff, only the fake stuff. But, my favorite preparation is a thin layer of peanut butter with the fluff spread over it on a tortilla. Then, I roll up the tortilla. Yum.

LT: Have you ever run over a prairie dog with your bike?

JZ:  I have been close to running one over, but I have never actually made contact. The prairie dogs are crazy and slightly annoying. Many years ago, when I lived in Baltimore, I was on a ride with a bunch of people. One of the guys, who was riding the old Spinergy RevX wheels, decapitated a squirrel. It was totally disgusting. The head went one way and the body went the other and there was blood everywhere.

LT:  Anything you would like to add?

JZ: Race hard, have fun!

After my triathlon season concluded with Ironman Florida last month, I was eagerly looking forward to snowshoeing this winter, specifically doing snowshoe races because they are so fun!  This past Saturday, my wife Nikki and I, along with her brother Sean, did one of our favorite snowshoe races called the Luna Chase held at the top of Keystone Mountain here in Colorado.  This Hawaiian themed 5K race has all of the participants wear lei’s to spark up a little more excitement than the usual snowshoe race.  On top of that, every person wears a headlamp since it’s a night race that begins at 6:30 PM.  After taking a Gondola to the race check in, we took another Gondola to the race start which happens to be at 11,200 ft.  Just before the gun went off I saw that it was 1 degree….yes, very cold!  Luckily I was wearing my top of the line Spenco Cold Snap (http://www.spencocycling.com/) full fingered gloves, which kept my hand super warm, plus my durable Bell Weather/Profile Design vest (http://www.bellwetherclothing.com/).   I actually won this race last year, and was hoping to win again, but as we all know, you just never will know what will happen.  After taking a PowerGel and pulling down my PowerBar Beanie winter hat (http://www.powerbar.com/). I immediately pushed myself very hard to get to the front and started going up the 1^st hill which happens to be over 1 mile straight up.  I just kept my rhythm and soon pulled away from the pack.  I had about a 30 second lead at the top of the hill and started to head down.  I saw that there were a few other people catching up, but I managed to hold on through a few more up hills to get the win!  As I headed back on the course to wait for Nikki and Sean, I saw Nikki right away, as she took the overall win for the women!  I was so proud of her!!  Sean rolled in 8^th or 9^th place for a solid finish as well!  At the awards, which included the best post race luau I have ever seen, Nikki and I each walked away with a new pair of Atlas racing snowshoes combined worth over $500 (plus a dandy certificate pictured below).  We had a blast and plan to do more this season until my 1^st triathlon in the spring which will be Ironman California 70.3.

This week’s interviewee is Michael Lovato. Michael got the same set of questions as Amanda, but next week’s interviewee got a new round of thought-provoking, gut-checking, soul-searching questions. 

LT: Do you ever feel like your athletic accomplishments are overlooked, because people are so focused on your looks? Kinda like how people dont realize that Brad Pitt is a great actor, because they cant see past his super hot bod.
 

ML: This is not really a problem for me.  My athletic accomplishments are far more impressive than my looks.  I know this because I’m asking people about it all the time.  I don’t lack self esteem, but I do fish for compliments on occasion.  It’s not uncommon for me to approach someone with the question: am I one of the best looking people you know, or one of the best Ironman athletes you know?  Normally they chose the latter.  I assume they are being truthful.  And I think Brad was way better looking when he was married to Jennifer Aniston.  
 
LT: Have you ever been arrested? Feel free to elaborate.
 

ML: Yes.  When I was thirteen years old, I was arrested for breaking and entering.  I didn’t really break anything, but I did enter the neighborhood elementary school one weekend.  Turned out that wasn’t as impressive to my girlfriend as I was thinking it would be.  By the way, she was with me at the time.  And we broke up soon after we were released from the clink..  
 
LT: If you had to live your life as a legume, which would you be? (I will save you the time of looking up “legume,” that means a plant of the ‘pod family’, veggies, beans…I know, because I just used dictionary.com)
ML: I’m quite familiar with the legume, as a common translation for the word vegetable in Spanish is legumbre.  These words share the same latin root, so they are what we in the teaching word refer to as cognates.  I secretly want to be a linguist, but if not given that choice, I’d have to pick the lentil.  They pack a lot of flavor for such a small legume.  

 
LT: If you could put an Ironman race in a new location, where would it be?
ML: Austin, Texas.  This is a hotbed for the sport, and the terrain would offer a challenging course, with plenty of good scenery.  

 
LT:  Would you rather have a pet squirrel, monkey or penguin?
ML: Monkey.  No question about it.  Most primates are pretty smart, and I just read that some chimpanzees out performed some college students on a memory test.  Leave it to the English to come up with a test like this.  My goal would be to teach him how to do my laundry.  And maybe even the dishes.
 
LT:  Have you ever hit a prairie dog while riding your bike?
ML: Not yet, but I imagine it’s inevitable. 

LT: Anything else you would like to add?

ML: When I first met Amanda, I could not tolerate the idea of a dog sleeping in my bed.  Nowadays, when we travel, I miss having our Jack Russell, Luna in bed with us.