Or What I Didn’t Do This Christmas Vacation.

For the first time ever, I took two months off. OK, the first time in my 4 years of triathlon and running stuff. Here are the top 10 pros of a taking a true off season:

1. My youngest has stopped accidentally calling me Daddy.
2. I look a little less like Lawrence Taylor due to delt atrophy.
3. My hair is more yellow, less green.
4. I really want to get out and run hard/bike fast.
5. Sleeping in when hung over.
6. Nothing hurts all the time.
7. My bike is new, all over again.
8. Ten toenails.
9. Sunday mornings at the skate park before the big kids get there to laugh at the lame mom.
10. No spandex for eight whole weeks.

And my top ten cons:

1. Sounding like Jack Palance in City Slickers when I run.
2. Falling off my bike sidewards when trying to climb a steep hill. On my street.
3. Everyone at the pool failing to recognize me.
4. Getting dropped and dropped and dropped again.
5. The pain of getting into a too-tight splish.
6. Looking like a sausage in said splish.
7. Having to put my head between my knees at the track.
8. The saddle ache starting 20 minutes into a ride.
9. Re-sensitization of the nose. I can smell my workout clothes again. Sometimes before I even start training.
10. A guy on a mountain bike passed me on a hill. Wearing jeans.