Tired of people commenting on how skinny you are? Are nicknames like Skeletor and Bones starting to get under your skin? Then this is the blog post for you.

Take it from a pro; I’ve been known to pack on the pounds in the winter. At Team Camp in April, I was flirting with obesity, carrying 180lbs on my 6′2″ frame. Come October, I weighed in at Kona at a skin and bones 163lbs.

So if you are looking to pack on some blubber this winter, follow these simple eating rules, and you’ll show the haters who’s boss.

1.  Eat round foods.

Round foods you say? Maybe this needs some clarification for the geometrically challenged. Case number 1:
You  might think this apple is a round food, but alas! you are wrong. This is a spherical food - To be avoided at all cost.

These are examples of round foods:

Simple as that! Moving on….

2. Go to the Drive through

This one doesn’t need explanation. That simple window is the portal to obesity. Just think back to how you felt the last time you woofed down something you ordered at the drive through….I think you get the point.

3. Cheese

4. “It comes in a can, but Isn’t a fruit or vegetable”

No, this isn’t a 20 questions clue, its another nutritional rule for the winter months [Cheese from a can is the holy grail of rules #3 and 4].