In mid July, just days after moving to Penticton and finding myself in the happiest place I have been in a long time, ready for the new road, and knowing I was now on it….I landed poorly on a large stone while trail running and injured my foot.  X-rays and multiple professional opinions were certain that it was a deep bruise and would be fine within a week or so.  But a week went by and there was very little improvement.  I know my feet, and after several solid foot injuries, I knew this was more than it may have initially appeared.  The healing was taking place, but it was terribly slow…tendon/ligament-like slow.  Sure enough, the impact had been enough that we now believe caused some tearing in between my metatarsals where the muscle meets the bone.  The lack of blood flow to tendons and ligaments just makes healing slow.  Often 6 weeks for full recovery.  Ironically, the incident happened literally 6 weeks to the DAY of my favorite race – Ironman Canada.  Calgary 70.3 was out of the question, but this was okay for me as it was not a race I had put a lot of emphasis on for this season…but IMC…for me that is a different story.

For a few days I was significantly stressed, going through the injury of emotions which I just like to call the ‘injury roller coaster.’  I felt fear, panic, even anger, in those first few days.  After a chat with my coach,Scott, early on he proceeded to direct me straight again.  He told me straight up that I needed to work through this to become a better athlete, whether it means racing IMC or not.  The point is that I am a racer and there will be many races and that it is critical that I remain focused on the big picture.  Eliminate the negative thoughts and focus on recovery and doing anything/everything possible to become faster for my next race which would definitely be coming sooner than later. Don’t let the emotions take over!  This was the beginning of a “process” which has taught me more in the last 4 weeks than I ever would have imagined.

Over the following weeks, I was overwhelmed with support from the city of Penticton.  Tracey McQuair (physio) and Pierre Patenaude (massage) have been leading me on a journey of truly BELIEVING that IMC is still possible.  I have learned over the last few weeks that I have always feared injuries – deeply, and as an athlete, they are terrifying - I won’t deny it.  But when you allow that fear to take over, the injury wins.  You cannot force an injury to heal, but you can feed it positive healing vibes by respecting it, yet realizing that the power IT has, is far less power than WE have within ourselves.  I have been taught by these two ‘gurus’ (Pierre and Tracey)  that the power of positive thinking and belief runs far deeper than we may ever believe.  Pierre, who has a black belt in Karate and has 30 years of experience with the art of Qi Gong has had me doing exercises which emphasize the power of a’dragon’ to evoke power and strength over an injury which he simply calls ”nothing but a little grain of sand.”  Tracey has been feeding this by giving me nothing but encouragement with each step forward.  Gently pushing me along in the direction that she knows I need to be going.  Their support and encouragement has been instrumental.  Key.

There is no question to me that this little ”grain of sand”  has happened for a very distinct reason.  It has been presented to me to force me to look at my fear of injuries straight in the face…and to make a decision on how to deal with it and approach it.  With a 6 week average recovery rate for an injury like this and a 6 week time window from the time of injury to IMC…this has been no fluke.  None at all.  I was simply presented with the challenge of working through my fear of injurires which holds no guaranteed result (not like any challenge has a guaranteed result!) and asked to make a decision.  Get emotional and worry about it OR  just refuse to give in to it, respect it, but challenge it daily.  Put it to the test…and in doing so…put myself to the test.

So, this is what I’ve done.  I have swam more in the last 4 weeks than I ever have in my life.  I have logged miles on my Orbea Ordu to the point where I am surprised my computer is still willing to keep track of the numbers – although the feisty Orbea is handling it like a champ!  And I have water ran.  I have water ran until I think I may very well crack.  3 hour water runs, weekly threshold plus intervals which are such violently difficult efforts that I can hardly walk up onto the beach once I am done because my legs are so shattered…all the while the thing that has kept me going is just a pure and genuine love of this sport and determination to be the best I can be, whether it be IMC…or IM Wisconsin 2 weeks later.  But this hasn’t mattered to me.  Instead the efforts and sessions have.  Putting it all out there, day after day, all the while while my foot quietly has become stronger and stronger. 

Today, I woke up feeling a bit off though.  2 weeks to IMC and I had a 2 hour water run to “look forward to.”  As I drove to the beach, I saw runners all over the road on South Main leading to Eastside Road.   I felt envious and fear began to creep in.  I started the water run and felt a flurry of emotions….so I just allowed myself to feel every single one of them.  Then I said to myself…”There, are we done with that now?”  And somewhere from deep inside the answer was ”Yes….yes we’re done with that.”   I hit the end of the first lap and I started doing shallow water running for some impact.  I then decided that I was just done with this water running and I was going to take my foot through the next test.  Running on the beach.  I stripped the top half of my wetsuit off and started running easily on the sand with my shoes on.  I couldn’t believe it.  I was running.  Albeit still a ‘niggle’ (I really REALLY hate that word but it does describe it well!) in there, but that was all…and to be expected.  I finished the workout with nearly 50 minutes of impact running between shallow water running and sand running.  I WAS RUNNING!!!!!!!!!!!!  And there are still 2 weeks to go.  Never say never.

I don’t know if my foot will be ready to run IMC in 2 weeks.  Professional opinions believe that it will, and I do too…but I don’t know for sure.  I can’t know until very close to the day. So, you see, this injury has been a process for me.  A process of belief and trust and positive thinking.  I recently read an article written by Macca which talks about the “3 Ps” required for attaining our athletic goals.  Performance.  Potential.  Perfection.  I love the article and am inspired by it (and Macca in general!) but I think there need to be “4 Ps” because he forgot to mention PROCESS.  Becoming the best you can be is a process, it doesn’t happen over night.  Like Lance Armstrong has also said, “One isn’t born a professional, instead one becomes a professional after years and years of experience.”  It’s true.  It’s simply what we do within the process that counts and that will matter in the end.

Will I be on that start line at IMC?  I really, honestly, truly am not certain yet as I need to make sure I am making the right choice, and not the emotional choice.  When racing is your job, you have to look at it this way.  And I certainly don’t want to jinx something by speaking too soon…so let’s leave it at that for now.  But I will say one thing.  I will be on a start line very soon, and when I am, I will be more ready and armed with more tools gained through this particular ‘process’ than I ever have before.  And THAT is precisely the point.  Stay tuned!!