It’s kind of odd that I would choose to write a New Year focused blog, particularly if you consider the fact that Eric and I made it to 10:30 last night and weren’t even conscious for the ‘ringing in of the New Year.’ Absolutely shocking - yah right.  But whether you choose to do your goal setting on Jan. 1st or on July 10th….makes no difference, the importance, however, is that you do it. 

This said, goals are of course just words (written or spoken) unless you take action towards them.  Taking action requires motivation, and the more this motivation is internally based - the better.  So, I wanted to write down a few ‘words of wisdom’ that I have picked up spontaneously throughtout 2009 that I know I intend to carry on with me for 2010, and perhaps, may also kick start some internal motivation towards 2010 for anyone reading!

First though, I think it’s important to first explain what motivated me to blog about this subject to begin with. …

I was on my trainer this morning for the first workout of the day and things were going on all as normal when I realized that my towel (which was laid out on the pads of my aero bars) was perfectly aligned to show 6 simple words with only 8 tiny syllables.  On my little sweat soaked towel it said, “What you believe, you will achieve.”  Now, some might think…”So what? It was on your towel, you read the words…ya da ya da ya da…”  But those 6 words written in light blue ink on that raggedly little hand towel were very meaningful for me in that moment.  It then inspired me to spend the rest of my  trainer ride thinking about other things I have heard in 2009 that are important little pebbles to put into my sack towards my own journey going forth into this new year, and decade.  Perhaps you might even choose to take some of these with you on your own journey in 2010 for whatever goals and dreams you have set out for yourself.  Here they are…

“It was a high counsel that I once heard given to a young person, “Always do what you are afraid to do.”  - Ralph Waldo Emerson

“You are what your deep, driving desire is.  As your desire is, so is your will.  As your will is, so is your deed.  As your deed is, so is your destiny.” - Brihardaranyaka Upanishad 4 (whoever that is!!!???)

“Don’t talk yourself out of it, talk yourself INTO it!” - Mel Spooner during a masters swimming workout this fall

“I don’t ask myself what I have to lose, instead I ask what I have to gain.  To follow a dream you cannot waste an ounce of energy on anything that detracts from your goal.”  Phillipe Petit in an interview about his epic and magical high wire walk between the twin towers.

“The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.”  - Chinese Proverb

Happy are those who dream DREAMS and are ready to pay the price to make them come true.” - Leon J. Suenes

“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”  -Confucious

“Patience, Grasshopper” - Dr. Chris Spooner

“Secrets of success in life is for a man to be ready for his opportunity when it comes.”  - Earl of Beaconsfield

AND OF COURSE DON’T FORGET….

“WHAT YOU BELIEVE YOU WILL ACHIEVE.”

Happy 2010, everyone!!!!!!!

Ask anyone who knows me, and they’ll tell you that I am probably one of the least patient people on the planet.  “Hurry up and GO” has been my life motto (or so it seems) until very recently.   Getting caught in traffic or waiting in line ups have never exactly been things that I have dealt well with. I have felt, especially over the last last couple of years, that the clock is always moving too fast…never enough time. “Faster…hurry…let’s go…..” I am learning, however, that faster is not ALWAYS better.  Usually…but not always:-)  Time is something that really is on our side, but only if we allow it to be.

After the disappointment of missing Longhorn 70.3 in Texas (not only for myself, but also for my dad who had to cancel his flight as he was going to come and watch the race) due to a strained tendon in my foot from an excessively tight peroneal muscle that finally said - NO MORE - I was definitely getting a bit nervous about Ironman Arizona which was to be my last race of 2009.  After resting my foot and getting laser therapy every couple of days, there was a point where I had to start running again to see if my foot would hold up for Arizona.  As it turns out, it was nearly healed…but not enough.  After easy three runs back it became inflammed again telling me that it was just not ready for all that training again.  It needed more rest to make a full recovery.  More rest?????  That means more TIME…and with Arizona only one months away I’m running out of TIME!!!!!!  Tick tock…tick tock …

After that run, I knew that if I was to race Arizona that I would possibly not finish the race and very likely re-injure my tendon - which are notoriously slow healers to begin with.   This was affirmed to me after seeing Dr. Chris Spooner (Melissa Spooner’s husband) who is not only a brilliant athlete and person, but a super naturopathic doctor as well. Having him affirm to me that risking racing Arizona was not a smart choice, and that there were many benefits to simply ending the season now (early November) to prepare fully for 2010 allowed me to finally get off the treadmill/roller coaster and allow the healing to truly happen.  Stop pushing, stop forcing…and allow your body to get what it needs.  Rest.

At first this was difficult for me to wrap my head around, but after a bit more time I realized that stopping and slowing down for a bit actually felt pretty good!  Getting lots of sleep, learning important details about nutritrion and how to now properly take care of my body with all the pounding I have and will continue to put it through (particularly after two solid injuries this season), working on the swim, and just having some time to absorb this new life has been the best thing that could have ever happened.  I have also learned that in order to truly make this sport (or any sport - or anything in life really) your focus, you must always think long term, and regardless of the short term situation…always keep your eye on the prize - as Scott likes to say!

So, you won’t see me at the start line in Arizona, but 2010 is coming up like a ball of sulphur, and instead of wishing time away, this time I am patiently preparing for my first season as a full-time pro, but for once…taking my time and doing it right.   Like I said in my last blog…the Stones really were right.

“You can’t always get what you want, but you get what you need!” 

Nobody wants to be injured, especially athletes, but sometimes, just sometimes, it could be that an athlete ‘needs’ to be injured.  What?  Are you crazy, Janelle?  Have you completely lost it this time?  Maybe….but maybe not.  Hear me out…

I’ll start from the beginning.  I have been working through yet my second strain injury in my foot this season.  My first was in the early spring and now this one.  It is frustrating, yet doctors, physiotherapists, and orthotists all agree that we have found the reason for this and it is something that can be corrected, so this is very comforting news.  But in the mean time, this means that I will not be quite ready for Longhorn 70.3 this weekend in order to ensure a full recovery so that I can race my second Ironman in November.  Arizona is the plan, but we’re also considering Cozumel to buy another week of healing/training time as Cozumel is only one week later, so we’ll see, but the focus is to get full recovery first, as that’s the only way. Anyways, that will all be decided within a week’s time as recovery is assessed, so for now, back to the ‘needing to be injured thing’….

Getting an injury JUST when I started going at this full-time was really frustrating.  There is already so much change to regular life and then the one major focus and goal that you’re working towards is not even something you can go at 100%.  Sure, you can work the swim, bike, and although water running is an incredible thing (and one that I believe allows athletes/runners to get even faster for the long term)  it is still not ‘running’ and you can’t ‘water run’ in a race.  Too bad…cuz I’m getting good at it!!! Ha! 

I have, therefore, spent a bit of ‘down in the mouth’ time over this. Basically feeling sorry for myself and then trying to find ways to control the issue.  Constantly thinking about the injury, wondering, worrying, stressing.  Pointless things really.  But eventually, a person can only be in that kind of a bummer mindset before they get tired of it, and that’s when the glimmer of light comes on.  “All righteeee…I’m not getting what I want, that’s clear, so what do I need to learn from this?”  Time to reflect.

For each individually injured athlete, what they need to learn is going to be different.  A fundamental aspect of any person who is looking to excel at anything, albeit in sport, their career family life, or other, is that they must all be willing to continually improve themselves.  Without this innate desire, or even understanding, you won’t get there, and you’ll eventually be halted along the way, so the will to improve…. this is key. 

Athletes often tend to see improvement as something they need to ‘train harder’ to do.  But this is not always so - it is not always physical.  All the strength, power, and endurance in the world might get you to a very high level, but it probably won’t be enough to take you to the top if you don’t have solid mental/emotional aspects of self to match.  For me, right now, I know that I am being taught patience and flexibility.  I need to learn these two things and understand how they are important for me as an athlete on this journey before I can continue onwards.  In order to be taught this lesson, I needed to be injured, to be forced to stop and reflect. Setbacks are a part of life, and certainly not easy, but they provide you a unique opportunity to hone your coping skills for future life events, which, most certainly, happen….to all of us.  It’s how we deal with these things that matters in the end, and which separate those who can from those who don’t.

 If you are injured right now, I am sure it’s not what you want.  So ask yourself, “What do I need?”

The summer was a bit of a whirwind, having finished up my teaching job in Calgary, moving to Vernon, getting settled, and beginning my very first taste of being a full-time professional athlete.  But it was just that, summer, and as you all know teachers have summers off, so I had not felt the change…yet.

In early September right after IMC, on the first day of school here in Vernon, it hit me…as I was driving to Kelowna to meet Scott (my coach) for some one-on-one swim coaching.  As I was heading off to the pool, I drove past the nearby elementary school on my way through town to find kids and parents scrambling around in typical ‘first day of school’ fashion.  It was at this time that  I realized that I was not a part of the madness.  I will say that a moment or two of ‘nostalgia’ hit me….but I got over it quite quickly:-)

As well, I still find it odd when I’m on my bike and I ride by a schoolyard of kids during their recess or lunch break…as I’m out putting in the miles on the best ever bike…my Trek TTX Equinox, which is really my  favorite buddy these days!  It’s times like this where I really realize just how different my life already is from where it was only three months ago.  Wild.

So….what’s it like so far being a full-time athlete?  Well, of course I love it….I am not only chasing a dream, but now I really am living it, and there is nothing that compares to that.  Nothing.  But the reality of being a professional athlete (if you’re not a hockey player) is not nearly as glamorous as some may think.  I remember just before I finished teaching, many people would say to me…”How great it will be!  You’ll be able to eat, sleep, and train, and that’s it!!!”  Although I knew then that this would not be ‘reality’ per se, I didn’t really know how different or similar to this it really would be…and there’s only one way to find out!!!  I remember chatting with Heather Wurtele a few weeks after I had finished teaching and she said, “It’s funny…you think you’ll have all this extra time, but you don’t, because you’re too busy…resting.”  Little did I know just how right she was!!!

 You train, you recover, you train, you recover….period.  Anything outside of that little scenario is probably not benefitting you.  I have to say that when I get to have an afternoon nap, it’s pretty darn great, but usually it is followed by a tough workout, so that’s always in the back of your mind….rest up…cuz you’re gonna need it for what Scott has planned for you before the day is out!  Ha!  It’s nice to rest, but it is disciplined rest, and that changes things. 

There are also no real days off.  This is a 24/7 job (but lucky for me it’s a job I love!!!) and there isn’t a lot of room for engaging yourself in things that are not good for that little duo I mentioned before called “training and recovering.”  I don’t get ‘excited’ about Friday in any way anymore.  In fact, Friday nights are a combination of eat, stretch, and early to bed for the weekend hoop-la!!!  The more boring…the better… really!!!

But I will say, that the ability to really focus your energy on a goal, rather than juggling several, is quite a treat!  Workouts are already more focused and deliberate now, rather than the ‘get in and get out - get ‘er done’ mentality that happens when you are constantly time constrained.  To know that I can absolutely slam myself in a workout when that’s what I am told to do, or as Scott would put it…THRESHOLD +++.  Or even put in the longer endurance/steady efforts with good concentration on form, rather than thinking about the assignments I have to grade when I get home.  I find it makes a big difference already.

  As well, having one-on-one swim coaching with Scott while we work my swim over from scratch (which has been so very much needed) is another added bonus of something I now have the ‘time’ to do.  In fact, I do believe my next blog will be all about our circus of adventures re-working this swim…stay tuned!!!  I could dedicate an entire blog about how ridiculous the BAND is….okay people….it`s all good and fine if you have a pull buoy, but the band without a pull buoy….you have GOT to be kidding…but like I said I will tell more tales of these swim sessions in future blogs as that is a topic in and of itself.  Oh boy.

In the meantime, however, I will just continue getting used to this super boring, yet tremendously exciting new life I have happened to stumble myself upon as I prepare for my next two races: Longhorn 70.3 in Texas(where I plan to meet Lance Armstrong…oh yes I do)… with Ironman Arizona to follow.   YEOUUUU!!!!!!!

Ironman Canada…the greatest race of them all.  Although I have done a limited number of Ironman and distance triathlon races, I still question if I will find one as incredible as Ironman Canada.  This is a race where volunteers (often kids) will run after you during the run course to ensure that you got the fuelling you wanted at the aid station.  It’s a race that will punish and enlighten all in one shot.  It’s a magical race and one I certainly hope to be doing again in the near future.  Until then, however, here is the re-cap of Sunday’s race, which was my first Ironman as a professional.  YEOOUUUU!!!

I showed up to the race still giddy about my interview with Paula Newby-Fraser from a few days prior and the sheer excitement of lining my bike up next to the likes of Belinda Granger with her super duper accent, Tereza Macel, and so many other incredible athletes who I have read about in magazines so many times.  Last year, racing as an amateur, the pro bike rack was something I drooled over during race starts, and I think I will always appreciate the opportunity to rack my bike next to the women I read about in magazines.  It is surreal and provides great inspiration to me.  Ironman race starts have an energy that I don’t think that can be duplicated, and although race mornings can be nerve wracking, it is good to take, even just a few seconds, to absorb that energy and try to store some of it within yourself for what lies ahead. 

Admittedly, I was very nervous about the start.  I am still an inexperienced swimmer and starting the swim with a small pod of professional athletes was daunting.  “Would I be able to hold any feet???  Would I be able to swim straight???  It’s GOT to be better than Boise!!!” These were thoughts that buzzed in my overloaded brain just moments before the start, but I just tried to let them be and begin to focus on the task at hand.  After some high fives with Sara Gross and Trevor Wurtele, I tried to keep Trevor’s last minute advice in my head as the gun went off…. “Just try and find some feet and hold on to them.”  5, 4, 3, 2, 1…it’s GO TIME!!!

The fast swimmers exploded off the front like a cannon and I just tried to stay calm and find my rhythm…and hopefully a group to swim with.  After a few moments, I noticed I was swimming at the same speed as some swimmers off to my right, so I backed off a bit and climbed on to the back of the train of swimmers.  Feet…yes…GOT ‘em!!!!!  This was very exciting for me, since I have never successfully swam off feet for the duration of a race.  At first, I didn’t know if I would be able to hold them, and was worried I would lose them at the sailboats over the turn, but I focused all of my energy and attention on holding those feet.  I managed to hold them and I jumped out of the water absolutely elated that I had finished my first pro Ironman swim with a group.  Certainly we were not the fastest swimmers of our little bunch, but it was a group, and I had not had to swim it alone.  YES!!!!!!  Mission #1 accomplished!!!

Now, off to the bike.  The volunteers in T1 were incredible and things moved perfectly.  The first 120 km of the bike were spectacular.  I felt great and was so happy with my splits and my computer readings.  Beyond this, I felt relaxed, under control, and comfortable.  And THEN came the out and back.  At about 120 km into the race, the unexpected happened.  A cable snapped and I no longer had any access to my big chain ring.  Nothing.  I felt panic and terror, but realized that I was lucky that I was still able to ride, and wasn’t at a complete standstill so I rode the remaining 60 km of the bike leg in my small chain ring.  At the top of Yellow Lake I hopped off my bike and manually tried to put my chain onto my big ring, but every time I hopped back on the bike, the chain fell off, forcing me to the get off my bike again and manually put it back on…since I couldn’t do it without my big chain ring.   After doing this 5-6 times, I realized that it was futile and that I was just losing more and more time.  Women I had passed starting going by me, and I knew I had to just keep moving.  I screamed and yelled for Tech Support like some sort of deranged whacko, but to no avail.  So, I spun my legs as fast as they would go, and tucked as small and low as possible for the 35 km descent back into Penticton.  It was very frustrating and stressful, but I was grateful that I was still moving forward and still in the race. 

The stress of those last 60 km though really did get to me and I failed to continue to fuel/hydrate properly. Once hitting the run, I felt, for the first time in a race, that my run legs weren’t there for me.  I didn’t feel good, and I realized that I was dangerously low on fluids and fuel.  At the first few aid stations I tried cramming solid food down and taking some fluids, but it was too late, and I knew it.  Now it was sheer damage control.  At around 9 miles, I realized I had to have a ‘movement’ of some sort but just couldn’t.  By the turn around at 13 miles I wasn’t sure how I would possibly continue in the state I was in, but realized that I had to try and just keep putting one foot in front of the other.  At mile 15, I was able to have that ‘movement’ I was talking about – beauty I know – and I was shocked to see that I was actually bleeding internally.  It turns out that I had dehydrated so severely that my insides had actually ‘chaffed.’  At the moment I noticed this was happening on the course, I took a second to figure if I should keep going, but I realized that if it was something really bad, that my body would simply shut down on itself, but until then, I was going to continue.  The support of Sarah and Brian out there was amazing, as they just kept shouting at me to go on.  In my state of delirium I also remember seeing Lisa Bentley on the road who was shouting at me with such vigour…. “Don’t you give up!!!  DON’T you give up!!”  I kept hearing her shouting that for miles afterwards.  It was something to hold on to, that I could only hope would get me to the finish line.

Somehow, I was able to continue passing women on the run in this state, and around mile 16, I passed Tara Norton to take third place.  I felt no elation when I passed her.  I was too tired.  I couldn’t even say anything to her (….sorry, Tara…I hope I didn’t seem rude…I just couldn’t muster the energy to even speak!)  I was then following the volunteer cyclist for the leading men and women for the race.  The media motorcycle stayed close beside me taking shots, and as much as this may have been exciting for me at any other time, I felt nothing.  I just kept trying to run, knowing that I was on sheer survival mode.  A few miles later Sara Gross passed me and took third place over.  I ran behind her for a few miles, just staring at her legs moving like a trance.  I had no fight, nothing.  I figured if I had any fight left in me at all, it would have to wait until close to the finish line, because I simply couldn’t go any faster at the time.  So, I kept her in sight and just kept focusing on getting to the finish line.  Then at 23 miles, Sara’s knees buckled and she started wavering on the road.  Someone reached out and grabbed her, and as I went by, I saw her ashen face demonstrating complete exhaustion.  It was a very tough day out there for many people – especially on that run.  I do want to mention though, that Sara was a hero and FINISHED the race after spending 30 minutes in an ambulance after this, demonstrating the true spirit of Ironman…which is….NEVER EVER GIVE UP!  You are my hero, Sara.

I then ran the remaining 3 miles back in third place, knowing that as long as I could hold out for three more miles that I had third spot secured.  Haley Cooper was running behind me, and running well, but was far enough back that I knew I just had to maintain my pace.  As you run into the IMC finish the cheering crowds are overwhelming, but to be honest, I didn’t hear them.  I could ‘see’ them, but it was like a dream state of sheer exhaustion.  I was finished.  I do remember talking to myself in the last mile, urging myself out loud to keep going, that I could “do one more mile.”  The people cheering probably thought I was nuts…and at that moment….I truly was.  My run was good enough for the fastest female run split of the day,but down deep I was, and still am, disappointed with how the run went…but that’s just life and it’s also a fact of racing.  You sometimes have to just deal with the cards that you are dealt on the day!!!

Unfortunately, I missed the spraying of champagne with Tereza and Belinda at the finish line as I was instead rushed by wheelchair to get medical attention, but I could hear them in the background…and it sounded like one hell of a party, and I’m sorry I missed it!!!! 

To be very, honest, I am still processing the race…still re-living it…as it was a step in the right direction for me in my first year as a professional.  I learned and experienced so much that I think it will take a few more days to let it all settle in.  It was a tough day for a lot of people out there.  Although conditions ‘seemed’ to be good on the outside, they actually were very tough.  People really suffered out there.  At the awards ceremony, my friend, and fellow Factor9 athlete, Duncan, asked me what kept me going when things were tough and I babbled a few mantras and visualizations that had worked for me.  But when I asked him what kept HIM going, he said something that I think just has to be put out there for the public to read…hope you don’t mind, Duncan!!  He said, “When I am training for an Ironman I have to be away from my wife and two daughters a lot more than I would like.  So, when I am in those last few miles of the run and everything is screaming at me to stop, I think of them, and I think that not only do I owe it my myself to finish, but I owe it to them.” 

I think, Duncan, that you summed up the spirit of Ironman right there.   Congratulations to everyone who started and/or finished the race this weekend.  It was anything but easy out there, but you all found that glimmer of motivation to get yourself to the finish line (or for some of us…the med tent!!!) from somewhere deep within.  Great job, everyone!!!