Ironman Canada 2010, for me, what just a little bit of everything.  In fact, it actually summed up my entire 2010 season in a nutshell.  For 5 of the 6 weeks leading into the race I did not know if I would be racing at all.  A torn tendon on July 19th from a poor landing while trail running had the guessing game of “to race or not to race” following me around like the ultimate question.  Yet, as I mentioned I had teachers and support to help me mentally work through this so that I could have the opportunity to get to that start line. 

On August 22nd, Scott and I chatted seriously.  Was it safe to race?  Was it even smart to race?  We weighed the options with laser-like precision.  We went back and forth and looked the at best/worst-case scenarios, and ultimately the decision rested on the fact that it was indeed “time to race.”  We both knew that with only one 45 minute run in 6 weeks going into the race (other than intensive bouts of water running) that my preparation was the ultimate “wild card.”  But this excited me – and I think it excited Scott too.  We both figured, “what if?”  And after a 2010 season that has stripped me to my core with challenge and change, it was time to put all the cards on the table and just see what happened.  So, on the evening of August 22nd (T – 6 days to IMC) Scott told me to get my head ready to race.  I went to Pierre’s that night for some psychological boosting (in a way that only Pierre can do) and I began sharpening my sword for a battle that I didn’t know if I was prepared for, but instead, simply knew that it was a battleground I could not miss being a part of.  And that was that. 

Race week was a complete thrill.  After having placed third at IMC last year, I was given bib #2 to race with and I was beyond honored.  I was part of the pro panel with Heather Wurtele and Tereza Macel.  I gave a clinic for TIMEX at the Kelowna Running Room where over 50 people were in attendance to hear me speak about the launch of the Global Trainer and my training/racing preparation for this great race.  I had a little friend give me a dragon tattoo to wear during the race to remind me of strength within which nearly brought me to tears.  I had a personal interview with TSN and the great Paula Newby-Fraser.  I spent time with friends and family leading up into the race and just soaked up all the positive energy I possibly could for an experience that I felt nothing but sheer joy and excitement at being able to participate in.  I didn’t feel the pressure of a professional athlete. Instead, I felt the sheer bliss of racing for the pure and simple love of the game.  I would race injured, and I would race unprepared with my run, but I was racing, and that was absolutely all that I cared about - this time – because for me, this time around, there just was no other option.

My swim on race day was inexplicably slow at a terribly disappointing 1:06.  I swam faster at this race last year and the conditions were great on race day….just no viable excuse for why on earth I swam so slowly.  I was also 4-5 minutes slower than training partners that I swam alongside all summer long.  Scott and I knew, without a doubt, that I was ready to swim 1:02.  We are still trying to figure out why it is that my swim has improved during training, but why, during a race, it falls apart.  The guess is that I just get too excited and I lose my form and technique.  Another winter of figuring out the enigmatic swim puzzle and remaining entirely determined on putting those pieces together.  It is beyond clear that I need a one hour swim or better to be in a position to race for an IM win. Coming out of the water with a 17 minute deficit to women who are also exceptional cyclists and runners is just not going to cut it, and like the saying goes, “You can’t win IM in the swim, but you can lose it.”  Boy can you EVER!  In fact I think I may well be the poster child for that old saying;)  That, in itself, is enough for me.  I will get there.  I don’t know when and I don’t know exactly how,as that’s just how the swim works, but with swimming partners here in my new stomping grounds in Penticton, I will just continue to quietly pound through the swimming miles until I get to where I need to be.  And that’s it.  I rarely put things out there before doing the deed, but in this case I am putting it out there because I believe it like I believe any true fact.  I will get that swim to 58 minutes or better.  Period.

The bike was solid at a 5:16, and 3rd fastest female pro bike split of the day.  I was hoping for a sub 5:10, but the colder weather and wind made that a difficult goal on the day, particularly on the latter part of the course where the massive storm of wind and rain nearly froze me to my core.  On a course/day like it was….I was pleased enough with a 5:16. I felt strong as I continued to reel in the women on the bike course as the bike went on.  I ended the bike in 8th place (having moved up 11 places from 19th) and less than 3 minutes back from 3rd place.  This thrilled me, because on any other day, this would have been all I needed for a top three position.  And then….then I hit the run.

For the first time in my racing career my run legs were not there for me.  The complete lack of running miles over the previous 6 weeks had taken its toll and I just couldn’t run.  The cramping began early and the pain in my foot was felt with each and every foot strike, forcing me to shorten my stride and deal with what I had on the day.  I have never  ever wanted to quit a race so badly in my life.  I tried to evoke and bring out the ‘dragon’ but I found myself instead to be in ultimate pain management control as it took every ounce of strength I had just to keep putting one foot in front of the other.  I found myself fantasizing about laying in the ditch and just staying there – forever.  It was rough.  I’ve never done that before.  Usually I focus every fibre of my being on catching the next female, but I couldn’t even go there.  It was, instead, pure damage control.  At 11 miles (shortly before the turn around) I noticed that my foot stopped hurting as my foot had instead gone entirely numb.  My legs felt like dead weights.  There was no spring.  There was nothing even familiar about my run.  In fact, I found myself wondering if it was really me in my body.  The cramping was intense.  I saw Scott on the side of the road and when I muttered, “my legs…my legs…I can’t run” he told me to take some salt and water as a last resort, but we both knew it was simply the lack of impact that my legs were used to and the sheer monstrosity of the IM run that was causing the cramping. 

 I was passed by two women on the run.  I have never been passed by another pro woman in my racing career (or at least have had the pass last to the finish) on the run and this was very mentally difficult to work through when I was already in so much pain.  I forced myself to block it out, but inside I was crushed.  This shouldn’t be happening.  The run is where I do my thing.  But on this day, it just was what it was, and I knew instinctively that it was simply what I chose to do with it all would count in the end.   So, I just kept moving forward in the hopes that something would change at the front of the race.  I limped in at a 3:21 run which might seem like a reasonable time, but with the other fast times due to the cooler conditions, it was a heartbreaking time.  This was a day to pound out a great run, but that was not the way it was to unfold.

My 9:48:06 was only enough for 8th place in a deep and competitive field, while racing with an injury and legs that were not prepared to do the task in the way that I wanted them to.  Am I complaining?  No.  I will never regret having raced.  I loved being out there (at least now when I look back at it) among so many friends and supporters in my favorite community in the world.  Penticton.  I would have loved to have repeated, and bettered, my performance from 2009,and to have done so in front of the home crowd, but it just wasn’t possible given the tools I went into the race with.  Next time. 

So now what?  Scott and I have made the decision to throttle back for a bit.  2010 was tough.  Really tough.  Sick in China, mechanical in St. George, a reasonable 5th place finish at CdA (but still not where I would like to be) and then an injury for an IMC 8th place finish….the season just was what it was.  It was a season of change, a season of growth, a season of learning, and although I learned so much from it, it’s time to stop chasing my tail and get things primed for 2011.  IM Arizona was to be the next on the list, but when we looked carefully, this would probably just be another sub-par performance due to ill preparation.  My foot needs time to recover from the early torture I put it through in its recovery phase during IMC.  By the time I would be ready to start run training again it would be October. A few weeks of running and then a taper still puts me in Arizona in a less than optimal position.  This isn’t what we want.  Instead, I want to be the best I can be and to GROW from the experiences of 2010 so that I can use them as tools (rather than baggage) in 2011.  So now, it is all about 2011.  For now, I rest.  Then I swim, swim, and swim some more.  And beyond that….I bring my run back to form.  I will be doing multiple running races over the winter and early spring to get things back to where they need to be and beyond and this makes me very content…not to mention excited.  

Stay tuned for my off season antics, as there are multiple things in the works which are also super exciting.  Before I sign off though I would like to send a massive congratulations to all who were out there racing their hearts out on August, 29th:)

 In mid July, just days after moving to Penticton and finding myself in the happiest place I have been in a long time, ready for the new road, and knowing I was now on it….I landed poorly on a large stone while trail running and injured my foot.  X-rays and multiple professional opinions were certain that it was a deep bruise and would be fine within a week or so.  But a week went by and there was very little improvement.  I know my feet, and after several solid foot injuries, I knew this was more than it may have initially appeared.  The healing was taking place, but it was terribly slow…tendon/ligament-like slow.  Sure enough, the impact had been enough that we now believe caused some tearing in between my metatarsals where the muscle meets the bone.  The lack of blood flow to tendons and ligaments just makes healing slow.  Often 6 weeks for full recovery.  Ironically, the incident happened literally 6 weeks to the DAY of my favorite race – Ironman Canada.  Calgary 70.3 was out of the question, but this was okay for me as it was not a race I had put a lot of emphasis on for this season…but IMC…for me that is a different story.

For a few days I was significantly stressed, going through the injury of emotions which I just like to call the ‘injury roller coaster.’  I felt fear, panic, even anger, in those first few days.  After a chat with my coach,Scott, early on he proceeded to direct me straight again.  He told me straight up that I needed to work through this to become a better athlete, whether it means racing IMC or not.  The point is that I am a racer and there will be many races and that it is critical that I remain focused on the big picture.  Eliminate the negative thoughts and focus on recovery and doing anything/everything possible to become faster for my next race which would definitely be coming sooner than later. Don’t let the emotions take over!  This was the beginning of a “process” which has taught me more in the last 4 weeks than I ever would have imagined.

Over the following weeks, I was overwhelmed with support from the city of Penticton.  Tracey McQuair (physio) and Pierre Patenaude (massage) have been leading me on a journey of truly BELIEVING that IMC is still possible.  I have learned over the last few weeks that I have always feared injuries – deeply, and as an athlete, they are terrifying - I won’t deny it.  But when you allow that fear to take over, the injury wins.  You cannot force an injury to heal, but you can feed it positive healing vibes by respecting it, yet realizing that the power IT has, is far less power than WE have within ourselves.  I have been taught by these two ‘gurus’ (Pierre and Tracey)  that the power of positive thinking and belief runs far deeper than we may ever believe.  Pierre, who has a black belt in Karate and has 30 years of experience with the art of Qi Gong has had me doing exercises which emphasize the power of a’dragon’ to evoke power and strength over an injury which he simply calls ”nothing but a little grain of sand.”  Tracey has been feeding this by giving me nothing but encouragement with each step forward.  Gently pushing me along in the direction that she knows I need to be going.  Their support and encouragement has been instrumental.  Key.

There is no question to me that this little ”grain of sand”  has happened for a very distinct reason.  It has been presented to me to force me to look at my fear of injuries straight in the face…and to make a decision on how to deal with it and approach it.  With a 6 week average recovery rate for an injury like this and a 6 week time window from the time of injury to IMC…this has been no fluke.  None at all.  I was simply presented with the challenge of working through my fear of injurires which holds no guaranteed result (not like any challenge has a guaranteed result!) and asked to make a decision.  Get emotional and worry about it OR  just refuse to give in to it, respect it, but challenge it daily.  Put it to the test…and in doing so…put myself to the test.

So, this is what I’ve done.  I have swam more in the last 4 weeks than I ever have in my life.  I have logged miles on my Orbea Ordu to the point where I am surprised my computer is still willing to keep track of the numbers – although the feisty Orbea is handling it like a champ!  And I have water ran.  I have water ran until I think I may very well crack.  3 hour water runs, weekly threshold plus intervals which are such violently difficult efforts that I can hardly walk up onto the beach once I am done because my legs are so shattered…all the while the thing that has kept me going is just a pure and genuine love of this sport and determination to be the best I can be, whether it be IMC…or IM Wisconsin 2 weeks later.  But this hasn’t mattered to me.  Instead the efforts and sessions have.  Putting it all out there, day after day, all the while while my foot quietly has become stronger and stronger. 

Today, I woke up feeling a bit off though.  2 weeks to IMC and I had a 2 hour water run to “look forward to.”  As I drove to the beach, I saw runners all over the road on South Main leading to Eastside Road.   I felt envious and fear began to creep in.  I started the water run and felt a flurry of emotions….so I just allowed myself to feel every single one of them.  Then I said to myself…”There, are we done with that now?”  And somewhere from deep inside the answer was ”Yes….yes we’re done with that.”   I hit the end of the first lap and I started doing shallow water running for some impact.  I then decided that I was just done with this water running and I was going to take my foot through the next test.  Running on the beach.  I stripped the top half of my wetsuit off and started running easily on the sand with my shoes on.  I couldn’t believe it.  I was running.  Albeit still a ‘niggle’ (I really REALLY hate that word but it does describe it well!) in there, but that was all…and to be expected.  I finished the workout with nearly 50 minutes of impact running between shallow water running and sand running.  I WAS RUNNING!!!!!!!!!!!!  And there are still 2 weeks to go.  Never say never.

I don’t know if my foot will be ready to run IMC in 2 weeks.  Professional opinions believe that it will, and I do too…but I don’t know for sure.  I can’t know until very close to the day. So, you see, this injury has been a process for me.  A process of belief and trust and positive thinking.  I recently read an article written by Macca which talks about the “3 Ps” required for attaining our athletic goals.  Performance.  Potential.  Perfection.  I love the article and am inspired by it (and Macca in general!) but I think there need to be “4 Ps” because he forgot to mention PROCESS.  Becoming the best you can be is a process, it doesn’t happen over night.  Like Lance Armstrong has also said, “One isn’t born a professional, instead one becomes a professional after years and years of experience.”  It’s true.  It’s simply what we do within the process that counts and that will matter in the end.

Will I be on that start line at IMC?  I really, honestly, truly am not certain yet as I need to make sure I am making the right choice, and not the emotional choice.  When racing is your job, you have to look at it this way.  And I certainly don’t want to jinx something by speaking too soon…so let’s leave it at that for now.  But I will say one thing.  I will be on a start line very soon, and when I am, I will be more ready and armed with more tools gained through this particular ‘process’ than I ever have before.  And THAT is precisely the point.  Stay tuned!!

This mural found in the heart of the city may be a bit dated...but it speaks volumes

 I remember the first time I came to this magical place in the spring of 2008.  I had, only months before, decided to leave “the marathon” behind in search of greener (or at least less injury prone) pastures.  I was still teaching at the time, had never raced a triathlon, but was training to experience my first ever season of triathlon in the coming months.  I had two weeks off for spring break and at the last minute I found myself packing my bags for Penticton to meet up with some training partners I had never before met – The Tribalistic gang from Winnipeg – some of whom have become my dearest friends.  I do believe that I fell madly in love with Penticton during that week of ‘riding the course’, running through the KVR trails, and I remember driving back to Calgary thinking I now had two “musts” in my life:

  I must move to Penticton some day.

  I must find a way to train and race full-time so that this can be my job.

Interesting how life has a way of making things happen when you truly want something and are willing to do what it takes to make it happen.  Two years later…here I am.  I am no longer chasing a dream, I am simply living it, and I haven’t a complaint in the world – not a single one.

Before I go any further, and JUST in case you weren’t already aware, Penticton is also the home of Ironman Canada.  IMC is one of the original Ironman races, and has maintained its solidarity among a sea of new Ironman and 70.3 races.  It remains special because of how the community lives, sleeps, eats, and breathes this race.  Ironman Canada is not a 1-2 week event within a community, instead it is a year-round experience which is appreciated and respected in a way that is so very special and rare.  And as a professional triathlete, it’s tough to find better stomping grounds than this. This morning were two prime examples.  As I was finishing an easy spin through town I came across a group of young kids were walking along the sidewalk as part of, what looked to be, a summer program.  Several of the young elementary school aged kids started cheering as I passed by them.  Then later, I stumbled upon a couple having coffee out by the beach who asked me if I was “training for the Ironman?”  I told them that I was, and they asked my name and race number so they could cheer for me on race day.  Welcome to Penticton. 

The Peach - symbolizing the start and finish of IMC

Best little bike shop around....

  Beyond that, I swam this morning with my coach and a group of Factor 9 athletes.  The swim has remained so elusive to me, and a majority of that has been based around the fact that I haven’t had my coach there with me often enough to keep my stroke on track as it develops and improves.  Living in different places makes this a bit tough!  This morning, however, was spent sighting, working on my stroke, and continuing to feel comfortable in the open water – all the while under the watchful and keen eye of my coach.  Finally.  This is now something we can do several times a week vs. the previous ‘few times a year’ scenario.  Scott and I both call this the “new chapter” in my swimming.  Bring it – as I’m getting awfully tired of chasing out of the water with deficits much larger than they need to to be;-)

Skaha Beach - where Janelle is going to learn to make peace with the open water;-)

  So, I continue along on the same road I have been travelling for the last year, but definitely on a new and improved pathway.  A pathway which I know with every fibre of my being that I am supposed to be on and couldn’t be happier to have finally arrived - another ”finally.”  Tough to beat that.

Can’t wait for IMC, where the TIMEX truck and affiliated gang will also be coming up to be part of the EXPO, cheering, and racing squad!!  See you guys here soon!

PS – THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to all my super duper moving hands…and especially to Jenny Ayers who has done more than her share in making sure that this moving experience has gone on with as few glitches as possible. I couldn’t have done it without you, good buddy.  Thank you.

Ironman Coeur d’Alene 2010…finally that coveted finish line was reached after two back to back toughies in a row (sick in China and mechanical in St. George, not counting the 3 month bout of tendonitis this fall and winter which ended 2009 early.)  CdA was all about getting rid of the demons once and for all and making a fresh new start.  It was something that I mentally needed more than anything. A finish line is a finish line, and in Ironman, it’s even more than that.  It’s a symbol of months of dedicated hard work for both pros and amateurs alike, and when you can finally see the finish line arches as you run that final mile towards your destination, the feelings and emotions are too complex to put into words.  You’re relieved that you can finally stop, but there is also an over-riding sense of accomplishment that you can now sit back and enjoy. For me, this finish line was extra sweet because of all that I had overcome in the last 10 months.  The demons were slayed and put to rest on Sunday – and that feels really, really good:-)

 That being said, IM Coeur d’Alene, for me personally, was not a great race.  Don’t get me wrong, I fully understand that a top 5 in an Ironman event is a mighty task and I both recognize and appreciate that, however, it would be lying if I said I was fully satisfied with my day. After a tough swim, I made some pacing errors (which I’ll tell you all about) which had me unnecessarily shattered to bits at the finish line.  But I learned so much from it, and the experience was undoubtedly a critical one for me as I continue on in my professional racing career.  However, given my errors, to slowly have inched my way into the top five for that last podium spot was good recognition for me that I know how to fight hard when I need to, and that I have the mental capacity to deal with advertsity without wavering.  As an athlete, it’s a nice thing to know about yourself and it is something I will surely have to tap into again in future race experiences.

The morning started with relative ease, as I was relieved to see that the swells in the lake from the day before had subsided substantially.  My coach, Scott, was there to make sure nothing went amiss on that morning and the days preceeding, and this helped to calm my fears of the DNFs of the last two races.  My parents were at the race cheering, as well as my good friends Jenny and Brian who made the trip to saunter around in grass skirts and coconut bras (yes Brian you looked really good…) to cheer me along the course.  This meant alot to me and put my head in a good place for the morning start.                                          

 The swim turned out to be quite a disaster for me.  It truly must appear as though I am not improving with my swim, but I am here to attest that it is.  Slowly.  But it’s improving.  My pool times have shown alot of progression but the open water remains enigmatic to me as to how to go about tackling it.  The gun went off and I found myself in a pack of a few pro women…albeit not the front of the race or anything…but it was a solid pace that I felt comfortable with which assuredly would have taken many minutes off my final time had I managed to stay on the feet.  All was going well until the first turn buoy at 1,000 m. where I battled out there with another swimmer who put me under the water repeatedly a few times, then when I went to breathe a swell came along and I choked back a lot of water.  It took me a few seconds to recover, which was a few seconds enough to make me lose the feet.  Then with the building swells, I had lost that beautiful pack of feet.  From there it all went downhill.  I became seasick from the swells, finally having a good puke at about 2,800 m. into the swim.  My navigation was poor and I was zigzagging again.  The sighting caused me to lose my form…and well…it all amounted to a 1:11 swim.  Yuck-foo.  I had intended to swim 8-9 minutes faster than this, which my training showed to be a very realistic goal, but with the conditions and my relative inexperience in the open water in tougher conditions…that plan didn’t unfold.  But it’s coming, it’s there, it’s just a matter of time.  It will manifest in the open water soon enough.  Patience - if it kills me:-) 

After coming out of the water with this deficit, I had some feelings of panic.   I am used to chasing out of the swim, but this was pretty bad and I knew there were many strong women in the race who I wasn’t going to be able to chase down quickly.  It was going to be a long, slow process, and that is a big feat to look at when you still have over 8 hours to go.  That’s a long day of chasing.  But, it was what it was, so I figured I may as well get started.  Here is where I made my next mistake.  I went out too hard.  My heart rate was far too high, I knew it, but I was so full of adrenalin that I tricked myself into thinking that I could handle this pace for the whole bike.  Not smart, but another rookie error.  I learned my limits.  After 2.5 hours of hard pushing on a course that is exceptionally tricky with all the turns and popper hills, I begain to pay the price.  My heart rate dropped substantially and because I knew my fuelling was all right, I knew I had gone out too hard.  But this is Ironman racing.  You live, you learn, and you are forced to deal with the factors of the day – even if they are self-induced…;-) I rolled in at a 5:22 bike time which disappointed me, but at least there had been no mechanical and a large part of me was just glad to have gotten to the run part of the race – FINALLY! 

I was 9th starting the run after having moved up on the bike with the 4th fastest bike split of the day, and slowly continued to reel in the women ahead of me.  I had a pretty good run until about 21 miles, where at this point, my gut started cramping and I had to use the Porta-Potty a few times.  I also started to stop to take in 2 cups of water at each aid station for the last 10 miles or so of the race as it was getting hot and dehydration was slowly creeping in.  I chased and chased but for the life of me I couldn’t catch the 4 women ahead of me (Corbin, Kessler, Williamson, and Cooper-Scott) who were all posting between 3:04 and 3:17 run splits.  I ran a 3:13 (2nd fastest of the day) which was solid, but not overly pleasing to me either.  At the turn around at Higgins Point, the 5th place bicycle was waiting to lead me in to the finish line.  As tired as I was, she was absolutely hilarious, joking with me that she was my linebacker for the race as we pushed our way through the sea of racers all heading the opposite direction. 

 A sea of inspiration on the run course!

The crowds, volunteers, and cheering along the lakeside portion of the race was overwhelming (in a good way!) and it really helped to keep your mind off the pain.  Seeing friends Sam Barnes (who showed me around the course weeks earlier) and Kelly Moore, both having a great race boosted my spirits too.  I saw TIMEX teammates, Roger, Phaedra, and Trista cheering along, and Jerzy and Juli out there pushing themselves on the course too.  Jenny and Brian swayed their hips along as though they were on a Hawaiian beach, and although I was unable to acknowledge any of them (too tired) I processed it all and I was definitely smiling inside.

 Next on the list (after moving to Penticton next week!!!!!!!!) is Calgary 70.3 and then….Ironman Canada.  More experience, more pieces to put together – can’t wait!!!!

As a final note a few special thanks to:

-Steve at Vertical Earth (CdA cycling shop) for helping me with that ‘tick’ in my bike in the days leading up to the race prior to the arrival of TIMEX to come to the rescue, and who also completed his first IM this weekend with a super result to boot!

-My parents for travelling all the way from northern B.C. to watch me race!  As well, as Scott, Jenny, and Brian for trekkig down to CdA to support me for this race. 

-Bonnie for putting up with me as her homestay athlete for a full week:-) 

-Doug (TIMEX) for having that bike primed and ready to roll without a hitch.  Gorgeous.

-Amazing med tent volunteers for taking such good care of me when I was only partially coherent!

Congrats to ALL finishers!!!  It was not an easy day and you DID IT:-)))

You go out too fast and you end up suffering far more than necessary, only to limp in with a disappointing result for yourself.  Go out too slow, and although you might ‘suffer’ less, you’re still not going to be pleased with the final outcome if your overall time is in any way important to you – which for most of us – it is.  Although as I’ve discussed before, your final results or time should not define your experience for you, it is still something many of us think about to help us gauge improvement over time, assess our training, and to simply experience the satisfation of meeting an external goal.  So, I don’t recommend your result/time to be your focus, but I do recommend that it still hold value for these reasons.

Pacing has become increasingly popular and integrated within endurance training for a few years now, thanks in part to the adaptation of GPS watches.  Prior to this, in order to assess your speed/distance/pace during a training run you needed either a treadmill, a track, or specified markers (such as in a race to record your splits.)  I guess if you were really hard core you could also use a friend on a bike for a pace bunny…but you need a couple of really good buddies to recycle through if this was your pacing method of choice!!

So, I now bring to you…drum roll please….the highly anticipated….TIMEX GPS Global Trainer.  Long-awaited…but as of June 2010, this hot little “machine on a wrist” will be hitting retail and available for purchase!  Oooh la la! Welcome to the new generation – TIMEX style!!!  And I ask you…is there any other style when it comes to performance watches?  That’s what I figured;-)

http://www.timexironman.com/Products/Global_Trainer_GPS.htm

Some notable features for all you pace bunnies out there:

-GPS is driven by SiRFstarIII chipset which acquires satellite signals faster and lose connection less often than watches using older chipsets such as Forerunning 101, 201, and 301.

-Can store up to 100 waypoints with the trackback feature and 50 custom routes

-Records up to 1,000 lap times

-4 quadrant screen (LOVE THIS!!!!!)  So easy, so clear….so very TIMEX!

-PC/Mac compatible

-Ability to import performance to Training Peaks software

-Can be used with bike sensors, all TIMEX heart rate chest straps and ANT+ third party bike power sensors.

Now, let it be said, that I am a huge believer in pacing.  If you want to run a goal ‘time’ in a race, then you need to train your body to race at that pace - (amazing concept, I know!!)  Slowly but surely, we can use consistent pacing in our training to help us reach our goals, and this watch will take us there.  At the same time, I also think it’s important to realize that pacing is not the only thing that will help us reach our goals.  Two other important pieces of the puzzle are monitoring our heart rates and understanding our perceived exertion.  The former being the most critical of all. 

The Global Trainer will monitor your heart rate (and allow you to also monitor your speed, pace, distance all at the same time – if you so choose!)  Since being given a premiere version of this doozy of a timepiece at the TIMEX camp in New Jersey a couple of months ago, I use the Global Trainer for about 50% of my runs.  It’s the ticket when I want to be out in the elements and maintaining a specified pace to get my body (especially the legs!) used to running at a “x” pace for “x” time. 

Sometimes though, I just want the chronological time and my heart rate.  I don’t want to be tempted by knowing my pace (which I always am when I have the Global Trainer!)  I think…”Oooooh, I wonder what pace I’m holding right now.” Our pace can sometimes trick us.  For example, running uphill into the wind, might have us at a threshold heart rate, but our pace is only what would otherwise be considered a ‘steady’ pace. I recall having a conversation with Jerry Ziak shortly after the Toronto Waterfront Marathon in 2007 where I told him the pace I ran in the final mile of the race.  He then looked at me sideways as he asked me what on EARTH I was doing looking at my ‘pace’ during the final mile of a marathon.  I held my head in shame.  How TRUE!  But again, the point is that there is a time and a place for pacing.  The final mile of a marathon….not the time, people!! The energy I wasted (mentally and physically) by looking incessantly at my watch (prior to the TIMEX GPS days) could have gained me a few extra seconds, maybe putting me at a 2:48 marathon…rather than a 2:49 – in that race.  Time and a place….time and a place!!!

  Heart rate (used alone) also allows us to get a better sense for our perceived exertion.  We get to know what our bodies experience and feel like at given efforts or heart rates, and can use that information for pacing the long distance races when the variables change constantly throughout the race.  Too much dependence on pace can be detrimental, so you have to remember to keep it in balance – at least in my humble opinion. For some workouts, I just want to leave the newest technology behind and look solely at my heart rate as my gauge.  So, for about 25% of my runs I will use the TIMEX Road Trainer, which is, quite simply, legendary.  It simple, it’s small, it’s easy, and definitely not a TIMEX piece to be forgotten in these times of great evolution, with new additions such as the Global Trainer, WS4, and TapScreen.

http://walking.about.com/od/prhrm/gr/timexroadhrm.htm

So what do I use for the remaining 25% of the time for my training runs?  Nothing.  Na da.  Perceived exertion.  Scott tells me to go easy, I go easy.  He tells me to go steady, I listen to my breathing.  He tells me to go hard, I make sure everything hurts;-)

My point?  Balance between the tools towards getting faster: Pacing, Heart Rate, and Perceived Exertion.  TIMEX delivers in the first two areas…the third is up to you!

1.)  to exercise restraint or direction over; dominate; command

2.)  to hold in check; curb

 In preparation for St. George which is swiftly approaching, Scott decided to initiate our pre-race discussions and plans around one question, “What does it mean for you to control a race from start to finish, and end up with a result that you are happy with?”  Good one.  Now, as I am sure for most of you, that word ‘control’ seems to depict some interesting images in our minds.  Often which are accompanied with or connected to a negative connotation.  Something like this perhaps…..

Seem familiar?  (Either that or some Ex-Lax is a dire necessity – one or the other.)

However, when Scott asked me about controlling a race, I’m pretty sure he wasn’t talking about THIS kind of control.  In fact, how are these images in any way even truly related to the word control?

In an race like Ironman, we are anything but in control…of our circumstances.  The sooner we realize and accept this, the better off we are. That is for absolute certain.  Weather, what the other athletes are or aren’t doing, mechanicals, cramping….the list is endless for an event such as this.  I like to say that we can prepare our very best for a race like this, but in the end, it is up to the “Triathlon Gods” who will decide how things will turn out for you - in the end.  Or perhaps not.  Perhaps they set up some of the factors or variables, but the onus is actually on YOU to decide how it will turn out – more times than not, anyways.  Interesting concept!  One thing that is for certain, is that if you try to use some of the methods shown above to control how your race will turn out…you’re probably setting yourself up for a pretty tough day!

 After thinking pretty hard about this question, it is clear that the above images connote anything BUT control, in fact they represent the exact opposite. Through this process, I have come to wonder if the English language needs to evolve a little bit more with regards to this linguistic imprecision.  According to Webster, the terms command or dominate, don’t really seem conducive to what I actually think ”control” means.

 So, how about I paste in an image or two  of what   I DO think control means so that I am being clear.  Let’s try this again shall we?

 Now, I don’t know about you, but I think this is more like it.

 Control, within a race, or in anything we do in our lives, is not about controlling the outcome.  We cannot do this.  Instead, what we can do is control how we ‘react’ to those things that present themselves to us.  If we want to race, or BE, at our best, we have to remain in control…of ourselves.

 At IM Canada 2009, my first Ironman as a professional, I lost control of my fuelling after a cable snapped at the 120 km. mark of the bike.  I ran my way into third, but I was not in control.  I was so very much OUT of control, that I was unable to join in on the finish line spraying of champagne….instead I found myself hooked up to multiple IVs in the med tent.  Had I remained in control of myself when this happened, I would have realized that although I couldn’t control the mechanical, I was still moving forward, and I COULD control my fuelling.  This I have learned. 

So, I guess control means taking the focus away from the outcome, and instead controlling ourselves within each and every moment.  To do the very best that we can with what we are given on the day, albeit during a race, in training, or life in general.   No matter what kind of chaotic insanity might be going on around you, the trick to being at your best, is to stay calm within the center.

Over the last few weeks, I have been busy washing a lot of dirty laundry (literally too….you don’t want to know what my suitcase smelled like upon coming home from China…you really don’t.)  But figuratively…I had a lot of soul searching to do.  And the tumultuous experience of the last few weeks was not giving me any options to put it off. 

During this time, I looked good and hard at why I am doing this.  Why I chose to put aside a Masters degree, a good job that I enjoyed (teaching), selling a house to live in a basement suite, living like a student again in more ways than one.  The pull and desire to just put aside this craziness, to get off this crazy roller coaster, and to go back to some form of safety and stability was becoming very, very strong.  My teaching career was looking pretty darn good and this basement suite was looking pretty darn ugly.  After an injury that had me take a solid three months off running this fall/winter, and then an extremely challenging and difficult race experience on my own on the other side of the world…yes…fear had me by the throat.   I had to look at all of this very, very hard to make sure that I was making the right decision to continue on this road of being a professional triathlete.

There are many things that helped me through this…some of which I will mention at the bottom of this blog, as I would not have had the strength to do this soul-searching without the incredible support of so many people (see below) but largely I realized that this really IS about the journey.  I ventured onto this new road because I was chasing down a dream, sure, fair enough.  But I have now realized that it is so more than that.  Before, I still understood the dream to encompass ‘finish lines and results.’  I didn’t see yet that these things really are so fleeting, and as nice as they can be to experience, that all the finish lines in the world will never love you back.  There has to be more. 

I’ve always said that I am doing this because I don’t want to be the 90 year old in her rocking chair (if I make it that long of course) who wonders ‘what if?’  And that is true.  None of that has changed.  But I have had to ask myself what that ‘what if’ means.  Does it mean putting it all on the line to work towards winning races that surely will come and go? Does it mean having your name ‘up in lights’ for a moment in time only to be replaced by another?   Does it mean putting all of your energy and attention into something that may never even happen only to put more pressure on your shoulders than necessary? No, of course it doesn’t.  None of these things will ever make you happy, because they don’t last.  The finish line won’t be there to hold your hand while you take your last breaths and the media exposure won’t provide you a shoulder to cry on when you need it.   That is for absolute certain.

Now, this might sound obvious, but for a bull-headed person like me….sometimes these things take longer to process than for othersJ  And for an athlete, until you are able to put the pieces together in your life outside of racing, to understand the true meaning of it all….then how can you ever expect to succeed?  How can you expect to succeed if you focus all of your energy and attention on one thing that is anything but a guarantee, and in turn, neglect (although not purposefully) the things in life that really matter?  You can’t.  So you either die trying and become progressively miserable throughout the process.  Or you stop.  Take a deep breath.  Ask yourself some fundamental questions.  Find some answers.  And then learn how to use these new answers to become a better person, both in and outside of racing.

When I was teaching, I had a poster in my classroom that said “Fall down 7 times, stand up 8.”  I always reminded my students of this, and told them that if they remembered one thing in life from our 2 years together…to remember this. ..and I hope they do.  It was time, however, for me to take some of my own advice.  Through this I also learned that sometimes you need to stay down for a little longer before you stand up.  So that when you DO stand, you stand with conviction, strength, and purpose.  The important thing is that you stand up again.  It matters not HOW you stand…for this is definitely not a race…instead just stand.

I have also realized that when you chase down a dream, the beautiful thing about it is that you cannot fail.  Either way it turns out…you will have succeeded.  If you meet your ‘outside goals’, then great.  If you don’t, then at least you will know within yourself, that when fear had you by the throat, when you felt like the puny kid at school who was backed into a corner, when you were laying face down in the dirt, that you stood up and said, ‘bring it.’ THAT is what matters today, and that is what is going to matter at the end of this life.  Plain and simple.   As Roosevelt once said, “The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.  Whose fact is marred by dust, sweat, and blood.  Who at best knows the triumphs of success, and at worst, knows that his place does not belong with those cold, timid souls who know neither victory or defeat.”  And it is with this that I now truly understand.  The weight has been lifted.  The pressure that I put on myself in this process is off.  I am doing this because I love it, and I understand that now.  I am doing it because it is something that I feel I am destined to do.  And that no matter how it all turns out, it will be a success.   I finally get it.  It really is the journey…thanks again, Myra.

In saying this, I cannot end this blog before personally thanking the following people for their support over the last few weeks.  Without this support, I truly, truly, truly would not have the opportunity to venture on this dream chasing road, because no one has the strength to do it alone.  So the following is a tribute to you:

Team Timex and Tom Schuler (who if you don’t already know rode for the superstar 7-11 team and is a US National Road Champion…so he was already my hero before all of this) who proved to me that TIMEX is not the king of watches simply because they have great products for consumers to buy.    No, TIMEX is so much more than that.  TIMEX is the king of time because of the people who are behind it.  Good people, real people.  Thank you, TIMEX for standing behind me when I was truly at the ultimate fork in the road and for reminding me that I belong to the best damn team on the circuit.  I won’t forget it.

Eric Wikjord.  My fiancé, my best friend, who sacrifices just as much (if not more than I do) so that I can do this.  And who never wavers in his belief and support in me.  He also is living in a basement suite, he also is holding off having a family, he is also spending a lot of lonely time as I am away or putting in the miles required to be at your best in this high demand sport.  And even though it would be so easy for him to tell me to ‘stop’ when I am down, he doesn’t.  He tells me to go on.  He tells me I need to continue.  He is the least selfish person I have ever met and I can’t thank him enough.

Scott McMillan, Factor9. My coach, mentor, and friend.  For putting all that he does into helping me to reach my full potential.  Who does so much more than write my programs for me (which are impeccable…but that’s another story.) Who listens to me ramble, replies thoughtfully, and who is a person who when you meet him, demands your respect. Not because he asks for it, but because his words and actions leave you no choice..  I wouldn’t be here without all that you do. 

Jenny and Brian.  For all the support and words of wisdom day in and day out.  For inspiring me.  For sending me this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45mMioJ5szc&feature=player_embedded

My mom.  Who listened to me, who lent an ear when I needed to talk.  Who didn’t judge, who didn’t ‘tell me what to do’ but who simply gave me enough advice to allow me to see it all for myself.

For ALL of the emails and support from each and every one of you from here in Vernon, from across Canada, and even all the way over on the far corners of the world.  I wanted you all to know how much your support means to me, and I hope that somewhere, someone, is able to hear this story and find the strength within themselves to get back up even when they didn’t know how.  If so, then I have already succeeded.

Arizona was the first option this year as a base training camp, but with the offer to housesit in Victoria for friends (and save $$$) while still being able to train big miles on the road…was just too good to pass up. Victoria is a bit of ‘hit and miss’ largely the ‘miss’ aspect pertaining to weather.  Those of you who know Victoria know that it is a beautiful place, but can be cursed (I say cursed because I’m not a rubber boots and umbrella fan) with predominantly grey skies and rain.  (Although I will say that this time around has been not too bad at all – a fair number of sunny days!)

Anyways, this was the ‘start’ of the new year and from here things have been rolling really quickly towards China.  Once January rolled around it was time to organize a training camp for some big volume training and like I said before, Victoria came up as the 2010 pick of the lot!  So, a few weeks ago I packed my bags and headed down here.  Sam and Jamie (people I am housesitting for) live in a super great place that is smack in the middle of the Commonwealth Pool and  Cordova Bay (with a view to match!!!)  Not shabby.  Beyond that though…in the evening after training myself silly I have become quite adept at watching episode after episode of The Office (BBC Version.)  I had heard this was a good one, but I had no idea just HOW good.  A long/hard training day can easily be washed away with howling laughter at the antics of Gareth Keenan and Dave the Boss.  Okay, if you have not yet seen this show…do it now…don’t waste any more time….you just can’t believe how funny it is – and if you have – then you know why I am spending so much time writing about this!!!

Okay, as for training…. the first few days of training had me working some of the cobwebs out.  I had spent SO many hours on the trainer (which has been great as I think trainers -and treadmills – are super training tools) but riding on the road feels different so it took a small adjustment period….which copious repeats of the Observatory seemed to take care of nicely!  I love that climb!!!  And I definintely can’t possibly explain how good it feels to run pain-free again after my injury this fall.  Nice, nice, nice.  I had also forgotten just how many amazing athletes there are here in Victoria….everytime I turn around there are record breakers, Olympic medalists, world champions…you name it – which is a constant reminder to continue to strive to up your game…so yah….train hard!!!!

After about 4 days of being here I came down with a solid cold/bug of some sort which I was able to train through as it never got really bad.  Instead Scott just had me lower the intensity of my training, but keep the volume.  ”Just keep rolling with it” he has said to me about 100 times since being here:-)  Regardless though with this big increase in training volume and fighting off a cold at the same time, my heart rate has settled nicely in at 10-15 beats below normal.  As Scott has told me, it’s not going to change until I get a bout of recovery – which you’re not getting yet – he keeps telling me:-)  Now, instead of focusing in on my  heart rate monitor (Thanks, Timex!) for workouts, I need to really trust my body and my intuition, since my heart rate is not giving me useful information right now.  This has been challenging – but a great learning experience too.  I always use perceived exertion, but also very much alongside heart rate as a back up…now with just perceived exertion it forces me to listen more closely…which is important training in and of itself!

Anyways, I guess to make a long story short…my season has begun.  The travelling has begun, the hard training has begun, 2010 sponsorships has been confirmed (more on this on my next blog)…and the racing is right around the corner.  Now….here’s to a sunny day today for my 5 hour ride and 1 hr. t-run.  Come on sun……..I know you’re out there!

This said, goals are of course just words (written or spoken) unless you take action towards them.  Taking action requires motivation, and the more this motivation is internally based – the better.  So, I wanted to write down a few ‘words of wisdom’ that I have picked up spontaneously throughtout 2009 that I know I intend to carry on with me for 2010, and perhaps, may also kick start some internal motivation towards 2010 for anyone reading!

First though, I think it’s important to first explain what motivated me to blog about this subject to begin with. …

I was on my trainer this morning for the first workout of the day and things were going on all as normal when I realized that my towel (which was laid out on the pads of my aero bars) was perfectly aligned to show 6 simple words with only 8 tiny syllables.  On my little sweat soaked towel it said, “What you believe, you will achieve.”  Now, some might think…”So what? It was on your towel, you read the words…ya da ya da ya da…”  But those 6 words written in light blue ink on that raggedly little hand towel were very meaningful for me in that moment.  It then inspired me to spend the rest of my  trainer ride thinking about other things I have heard in 2009 that are important little pebbles to put into my sack towards my own journey going forth into this new year, and decade.  Perhaps you might even choose to take some of these with you on your own journey in 2010 for whatever goals and dreams you have set out for yourself.  Here they are…

“It was a high counsel that I once heard given to a young person, “Always do what you are afraid to do.”  - Ralph Waldo Emerson

“You are what your deep, driving desire is.  As your desire is, so is your will.  As your will is, so is your deed.  As your deed is, so is your destiny.” - Brihardaranyaka Upanishad 4 (whoever that is!!!???)

“Don’t talk yourself out of it, talk yourself INTO it!” – Mel Spooner during a masters swimming workout this fall

“I don’t ask myself what I have to lose, instead I ask what I have to gain.  To follow a dream you cannot waste an ounce of energy on anything that detracts from your goal.”  Phillipe Petit in an interview about his epic and magical high wire walk between the twin towers.

“The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.”  - Chinese Proverb

Happy are those who dream DREAMS and are ready to pay the price to make them come true.” - Leon J. Suenes

“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”  -Confucious

“Patience, Grasshopper” - Dr. Chris Spooner

“Secrets of success in life is for a man to be ready for his opportunity when it comes.”  - Earl of Beaconsfield

AND OF COURSE DON’T FORGET….

“WHAT YOU BELIEVE YOU WILL ACHIEVE.”

Happy 2010, everyone!!!!!!!

After the disappointment of missing Longhorn 70.3 in Texas (not only for myself, but also for my dad who had to cancel his flight as he was going to come and watch the race) due to a strained tendon in my foot from an excessively tight peroneal muscle that finally said – NO MORE - I was definitely getting a bit nervous about Ironman Arizona which was to be my last race of 2009.  After resting my foot and getting laser therapy every couple of days, there was a point where I had to start running again to see if my foot would hold up for Arizona.  As it turns out, it was nearly healed…but not enough.  After easy three runs back it became inflammed again telling me that it was just not ready for all that training again.  It needed more rest to make a full recovery.  More rest?????  That means more TIME…and with Arizona only one months away I’m running out of TIME!!!!!!  Tick tock…tick tock …

After that run, I knew that if I was to race Arizona that I would possibly not finish the race and very likely re-injure my tendon – which are notoriously slow healers to begin with.   This was affirmed to me after seeing Dr. Chris Spooner (Melissa Spooner’s husband) who is not only a brilliant athlete and person, but a super naturopathic doctor as well. Having him affirm to me that risking racing Arizona was not a smart choice, and that there were many benefits to simply ending the season now (early November) to prepare fully for 2010 allowed me to finally get off the treadmill/roller coaster and allow the healing to truly happen.  Stop pushing, stop forcing…and allow your body to get what it needs.  Rest.

At first this was difficult for me to wrap my head around, but after a bit more time I realized that stopping and slowing down for a bit actually felt pretty good!  Getting lots of sleep, learning important details about nutritrion and how to now properly take care of my body with all the pounding I have and will continue to put it through (particularly after two solid injuries this season), working on the swim, and just having some time to absorb this new life has been the best thing that could have ever happened.  I have also learned that in order to truly make this sport (or any sport – or anything in life really) your focus, you must always think long term, and regardless of the short term situation…always keep your eye on the prize – as Scott likes to say!

So, you won’t see me at the start line in Arizona, but 2010 is coming up like a ball of sulphur, and instead of wishing time away, this time I am patiently preparing for my first season as a full-time pro, but for once…taking my time and doing it right.   Like I said in my last blog…the Stones really were right.