I did a half ironman on my 28th birthday a few weeks ago, and as I was road tripping back, I made a list of 30 things to do before I turn 30. It is a pretty standard list…do the Leadville 100 mtb, run Boston, do a big scary race this June that I will be sure to write a blog about if I dont die (just kidding mom. No I am not). Everything on the list is a new adventure, except for one re-do of an old adventure. A few years ago, I went on a pretty sick run that involved trails, a highway shoulder, and running over a mountain. I was about halfway through the “running over a mountain” part when a mastiff jumped a fence, ran across the road and tried to bite my face. I got my hands up just in time to protect my money-maker, but things got really messy after that (I will spare you the details in case you are eating).
This morning I embarked on the run for a second time, it is about 16 miles and shaped like a octogonal-gon snowman…you are just going to have to trust me on that one. I did my best to avoid any mishaps. When I saw a big scary bird on my side of the road, I immediately ran on the other side. My friend Justin R. had a goose land in his lap while he was riding a bike, and it beat him with it’s wings until he crashed. Seriously. That happened. I also made sure to pee next to the porta potty instead of in it. I locked myself in a portaloo once with a rattler, and I have never been the same. Actually, I am totally the same, I just wee outside now.
As I made the turn where the dog attacked me, I instinctively threw my arms over my head to look huge. And like an idiot. But mainly, I was after the “huge” part. I was safely past the scene of the crime and patting myself on the back when my worst nightmare crossed the street. I froze. It froze. A lady came by on her bike. I yelled, “is that a mountain lion?!?!” she said, “just pretend it is a big fox.” Then proceeded to stand up and sprint away. WTF lady, that helps me…..NOT AT ALL. So, I put my arms over my head, and did the idiot run for the next quarter mile with my head on a swivel. Then I threw up. Apparently my bodies reaction to stress is to show everyone what I ate for breakfast. You dont have to tell me twice how adorable that is.
I am now 1 mission accomplished and 29 to go.