There once was a time…like, after dinosaurs and before MC Hammer, when professionals would race every distance. Two to tens hours, they raced it all. Then the tide turned (may or may not have been dinosaur related) and people started to specialize in a specific distance. Apparently this week’s interviewee didn’t get the memo. Anything you hand to her, she can race, because she is that good. This week’s interviewee is Joanna Zeiger.

 LT: Have you/will you ever use the line, “yeah, well I am an Olympian.”

JZ: I am too embarrassed to play that card. I would feel like an idiot trying to pull that off. 

LT:  I noticed your hair is the longest I have ever seen it, how long are you planning on growing it?

JZ: I am going for the Chia pet look, which I think I have successfully achieved (for those of you who have not seen me lately, my hair is very, very thick and curly). Since the humidity in is so low, generally things are under control. But send me to a humid environment and I start sporting the “dead poodle” look. Not sure how much longer it will get. Once it reaches a certain point is grows out instead of down.

LT: I have also noticed there is a very fast group of female triathletes originally from Maryland…why do you suppose that is?

JZ: We just got smart and realized that Boulder is a better place to train than Maryland. That is why we get the Aussie invasion over the summer.

LT: When was the last time you went skinny dipping? Feel free to elaborate.

 JZ: It has been quite some time since I have gone skinny dipping, there are not a lot of opportunities for that here in Boulder. The first year I went to St. Croix I went skinny dipping after the race was over. It was under the cover of darkness.

LT:  Craziest place you have ever eaten a fluffernutter (is that what they are called?!) sandwich?

JZ:  I try to stay away from the fluffernutter sandwiches; when my coach found out about this habit he nearly had a coronary! Also, here in Colorado we can’t get the real Fluff, only the fake stuff. But, my favorite preparation is a thin layer of peanut butter with the fluff spread over it on a tortilla. Then, I roll up the tortilla. Yum.

LT: Have you ever run over a prairie dog with your bike?

JZ:  I have been close to running one over, but I have never actually made contact. The prairie dogs are crazy and slightly annoying. Many years ago, when I lived in Baltimore, I was on a ride with a bunch of people. One of the guys, who was riding the old Spinergy RevX wheels, decapitated a squirrel. It was totally disgusting. The head went one way and the body went the other and there was blood everywhere.

LT:  Anything you would like to add?

JZ: Race hard, have fun!

This week’s interviewee is Michael Lovato. Michael got the same set of questions as Amanda, but next week’s interviewee got a new round of thought-provoking, gut-checking, soul-searching questions. 

LT: Do you ever feel like your athletic accomplishments are overlooked, because people are so focused on your looks? Kinda like how people dont realize that Brad Pitt is a great actor, because they cant see past his super hot bod.
 

ML: This is not really a problem for me.  My athletic accomplishments are far more impressive than my looks.  I know this because I’m asking people about it all the time.  I don’t lack self esteem, but I do fish for compliments on occasion.  It’s not uncommon for me to approach someone with the question: am I one of the best looking people you know, or one of the best Ironman athletes you know?  Normally they chose the latter.  I assume they are being truthful.  And I think Brad was way better looking when he was married to Jennifer Aniston.  
 
LT: Have you ever been arrested? Feel free to elaborate.
 

ML: Yes.  When I was thirteen years old, I was arrested for breaking and entering.  I didn’t really break anything, but I did enter the neighborhood elementary school one weekend.  Turned out that wasn’t as impressive to my girlfriend as I was thinking it would be.  By the way, she was with me at the time.  And we broke up soon after we were released from the clink..  
 
LT: If you had to live your life as a legume, which would you be? (I will save you the time of looking up “legume,” that means a plant of the ‘pod family’, veggies, beans…I know, because I just used dictionary.com)
ML: I’m quite familiar with the legume, as a common translation for the word vegetable in Spanish is legumbre.  These words share the same latin root, so they are what we in the teaching word refer to as cognates.  I secretly want to be a linguist, but if not given that choice, I’d have to pick the lentil.  They pack a lot of flavor for such a small legume.  

 
LT: If you could put an Ironman race in a new location, where would it be?
ML: Austin, Texas.  This is a hotbed for the sport, and the terrain would offer a challenging course, with plenty of good scenery.  

 
LT:  Would you rather have a pet squirrel, monkey or penguin?
ML: Monkey.  No question about it.  Most primates are pretty smart, and I just read that some chimpanzees out performed some college students on a memory test.  Leave it to the English to come up with a test like this.  My goal would be to teach him how to do my laundry.  And maybe even the dishes.
 
LT:  Have you ever hit a prairie dog while riding your bike?
ML: Not yet, but I imagine it’s inevitable. 

LT: Anything else you would like to add?

ML: When I first met Amanda, I could not tolerate the idea of a dog sleeping in my bed.  Nowadays, when we travel, I miss having our Jack Russell, Luna in bed with us. 

So, I have a lot of time on my hands now….too much time. All of this time has caused me to do something I generally try to avoid, thinking. While doing some “thinking” today, I decided this blog needs some excitement, especially now that the race reports will be slowing to a trickle. Living in Boulder, I have made some interesting friends, and by interesting, I mean FAST. I decided to post a weekly interview with these interesting folks. To start with, I interviewed Amanda Lovato….

LT: Do you ever feel like your athletic accomplishments are overlooked, because people are so focused on your looks? Kinda like how people dont realize that Brad Pitt is a great actor, because they cant see past his super hot bod.

AL: Considering that I raced three ironman races that did not go as I would have hoped this year, I want to be noted for something.  And if that “something” happens to be the VISION ad that I was in or my skimpy SPLISH suits or my apperance at races, I’m ok with that.  Even if my race doesn’t go well, at least people think I look good!

LT: Have you ever been arrested? Feel free to elaborate.

AL: Yep.  I was arrested in June of 1990.  I had just finished my senior year of high school and a bunch of us girls went to “beach week” in Ocean City, MD.  Being 17 years old and “free”, we got ourselves in some trouble.  To make a long story short, I punched someone and got arrested for asault and battery.  If you ever want the full story on how I was booked and how my dad had to drive 3.5 hours to bail me out, call me.

LT:  If you could put an Ironman race in a new location, where would it be?

LT: Would you rather have a pet squirrel, monkey or penguin?

LT: Have you ever hit a prairie dog while riding your bike?

LT: Anything else you would like to add? 

LT:Thank you, that is all of the questions I have at this time.

Tuesday in Boulder county was perfect weather for riding a bicycle, so that is what I did. I was 10 minutes from the end of my ride when I saw a state patrolman pull a car over, naturally I started to mentally high five myself because someone was getting a speeding ticket, and it wasn’t me…

The next thing I remember, was seeing all of the flashing lights, ambulances, fire trucks, and police cars. They told me what happened as they loaded me on to the stretcher. I was hit from behind by an suv, and thrown into a guard rail, before I rolled into the street. “And my bike?! Is my bike okay?!” I asked like any good cyclist. Then I lost consciousness. Then I woke up again and screamed “ARE MY FEET MOVING?!” As they flapped wildly against the stretcher…someone has seen too many Grey’s Anatomy episodes. Then the lights went out again…until I started asking the EMT to look at my pinky finger, “I think it is broken, please tell me its not broken, I use it, like, everyday, I really need it” I babbled on.

Once we got to the hospital, they took cat scans, x rays, and stitched my shin back together. The good news was my cat scan showed undeniable evidence that I, Laura Tingle, have a brain. I was also shown a possible hip fracture from where the suv hit me. The whole time I was at the hospital a super hot fire fighter was there for an emt course. As I chatted with him I tried to straighten my enormous blonde hair (for more on this, please see my blog entry about enormous blonde hair) as I ran my fingers through it, I pulled out a humongous tumbleweed…odd. Then the nurse went to work scrubbing the road out of my rash. That was my least favorite moment of my life. After that delightful experience, the police officer came in with pieces of my bike, and the pieces of my cell phone that he found all over the road. My phone was in the back pocket of my jersey, as I inspected it, I came to a brilliant realization. My wee little phono gave his life, to protect me. So anyway, this is where things stopped making sense. They fitted me with crutches and a knee brace, and eventually let me leave the hospital. The knee brace caused excrutiating pain in my hip, and I couldn’t use the crutches because my shoulder hurt so bad. So, I situated myself in my favorite recliner until it was time to see the orthopedist two days later. He said,  ”Broken scapula” oh balls, this sucks.

 The majority of women in the sport of triathlon do not have enormous hair…and there is a reason. I was looking back on my many (2) years of being a triathlete and thought I might share a few “hairy” moments with you.

Before retiring, at the age of 11, from the sport of triathlon, I rocked the perfect triathlete hairdo. My hair was cut short, and tightly permed into a large ‘fro…I am not kidding…it was awesome. So when I made my triathlon comeback, at the age of 21, I was not sure as to what do with my huge blonde hair. So I had my friend, Lissa “Fisch Face” Fischer, french braid two cute pigtails. The braids were rad until I got to transition, and couldn’t fit my helmet over the braids. I ended up perching my helmet on top of my head, with the straps suffocating me…I don’t even think that is legal.

I was not yet totally turned off on the braided hair idea. The night before my first Ironman, I went to a salon in Tempe and asked the woman to braid my hair TIGHT, so I could comfortably get a helmet over it. The braiding was about a 10 on the “it would hurt less to shove a pencil in my eye” scale. When she finished, she asked if I wanted “product” put on my ‘do to hold it in place. Now, I am about as low maintenace as it gets, so the only “product” I am educated on is deoderant. I now know one thing about hair “product.” When you jump into the Tempe Town Lake, it will flow down your face like a slow moving oil spill. It tastes like 11 pm on a Saturday night, and if it gets in your goggles, you might as well chuck them.

Previously, I participated in the Boulder Stroke and Stride series. The event is super low-key (I was mainly there for the pizza, and the boys in speedos…in that order) but the swim start is BRUTAL. As I took off, I got hit in the face. Hit so hard that it broke my goggles, which held my cap on, so when my cap came off, my hair was everywhere. I was like the Boulder Res Loch-(Hair)ness monster.

The next Stroke and Stride I survived the swim (woohoo), ran into transition, put on my shoes, race belt, tied my hair up…oh wait…I forgot a hair tie. So I ran like a beautiful stallion with flowing hair behind me, yeeeeeah right! My hair was so long by then that the people who were on there way back, running in the opposite direction, probably got smacked in the face by my less than glorious mane.

So I decided to get a bit cut off. My dad told me he had a gift certificate to a salon in town. I figured it had to be better than the last time I went to Fantastic Sams and got the twitchy lady to unintentionally layer my hair. I went to the salon to find ESPN on the TV, jerseys on the wall, and my hair cutter was wearing an umpire uniform. I fully expected to be offered a beer when I sat down in the chair. “So,” I started, “do you, um, get many girls in here?” That was when she told me they only cut men’s hair, but they couldnt legally turn me away…uh huh. “So, have you ever cut a girl’s hair before?” “Nope” uh huh. The hair cut ended up NOT being better than the one I received from the twitchy lady…dang it. I think it is time to bring back the ‘fro.